As we’ve said in the past, TeamWED loves to receive and answer reader questions! This latest one comes from Moya, who is wondering how to include children in a wedding ceremony, in this case her husband-to-be’s children from a first marriage.
I’m lucky enough to be marrying a wonderful man and inheriting a wonderful family on top of that! I’ll admit that I never imagined myself becoming a sort of mom to two tweens at 30 years old, but I love my soon to be stepdaughters a ton. They seem to love me, too, and are pretty excited about the fact that I’ll be marrying their dad. Since the marriage will not only unite my fiance and I, but also me and the kids, I thought it was only right to include them in the wedding. I’ve already asked them both to be my bridesmaids (no juniors here — that seemed patronizing) but I wanted to include them in other ways, as well. Any suggestions?
Is it wrong to admit that we hear this kind of question a lot from friends and relatives? It used to be quite unusual, but now quite commonplace to see the bride’s children or the groom’s children attending or participating in the wedding.
And to that we say “Right on!” Divorce sucks, but sometimes it’s the vehicle that allows a man or a woman to find happiness once again. It’s especially awesome when they find a new love *and* their kids are on board, since we know from experience that a groom’s kids don’t always take kindly to his new bride!
Well, Moya, you certainly lucked out, and we applaud your decision to involve your future stepdaughters in your wedding since that can help ease the transition into blended familyhood. The good news is that you have plenty of options where including children in a wedding ceremony is concerned.
First, they might each do a reading, perhaps from the Bible or Torah if you’re religious or from a book of verses if you’re not. You might even let the girls choose their own readings, particularly if you’re leaning toward poetry. Have them Google “love poems” or “quotes about love” to find potential readings, but make sure they run their choices by you and your fiance first.
Prior to the wedding ceremony, the girls could light the candles if there will be any, hand out wedding programs, or even entertain the waiting wedding guests if they’re hammy like that. In the wedding ceremony itself, your fiance’s daughters can give their dad away or speak some words that indicate that they consent to the union.
There are also plenty of rituals and wedding traditions that you can alter to include your future stepdaughters. The sand ceremony is a good one and a very popular wedding ceremony. You simply use a receptacle with a wider mouth so that the four of you can all pour in individual shades of sand to show that you’re coming together as a family but are also maintaining your individual identities.
(Photo by Randy Son of Robert)
Visit USABRIDE.COM for an incredible selection of wedding jewelry, wedding accessories, bridal headbands, wedding veils, and now bridesmaids dresses at the best prices you’ll find on the Internet.
Best Price on Sandals All-inclusive Honeymoons
Get the guaranteed best prices on Sandals all-inclusive or best price on Beaches all-inclusive luxury honeymoons from Paradise Getaways! No one can beat their prices – not even the big Internet travel sites! Sandals is offering some of the best prices on honeymoon and destination wedding packages right now. Call Tami Santini, destination wedding planning expert, today at (877) 686-0397 or visit Getaways in Paradise online.
Wedding Reception Entertainment
iShare Spots is the perfect wedding reception entertainment solution for your wedding. iShare Spots allows you to share special memories with your wedding guests. Standing almost 7 feet tall, it’s a dazzling alternative to the old “projector and screen multi-media presentation.” Visit their website to see it in action.
Convenient online shopping for wedding favors, wedding cake toppers, and all types of bridal accessories is just a click away at Crazy for Weddings (.com). You will find some really special and fun things for the bride and groom at Crazy for Weddings. Take a look at our "Just Married" signs that will help you decorate a car, or find the perfect wedding gift to personalize and give to a bride and groom on their special day.
Wedding Contract Advice from The Wedding Professor
Known across the matrimonial world as The Wedding Professor, Richard Cadieux has been a certified wedding consultant since 2002 and has lent his expertise at more than 500 weddings. Most brides-to-be have little to no experience negotiating contracts, which means much of what is promised to them by wedding vendors never gets put into writing. Consequently, those brides-to-be risk not only being taken advantage of, but also being left without any legal recourse. But The Wedding Professor’s new eBook changes all that and puts the power of negotiation into the hands of brides and grooms, who are the customer and who, in most cases, are making quite significant investments. If you’re a bride or groom looking for wedding contract advice, and think it’s a smart idea to protect yourself and your money, visit his blog today.
