Daily Wedding Planning Tip &#187; Bridesmaids

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Wedding Contract Advice from The Wedding Professor

Known across the matrimonial world as The Wedding Professor, Richard Cadieux has been a certified wedding consultant since 2002 and has lent his expertise at more than 500 weddings. Most brides-to-be have little to no experience negotiating contracts, which means much of what is promised to them by wedding vendors never gets put into writing. Consequently, those brides-to-be risk not only being taken advantage of, but also being left without any legal recourse. But The Wedding Professor’s new eBook changes all that and puts the power of negotiation into the hands of brides and grooms, who are the customer and who, in most cases, are making quite significant investments. If you’re a bride or groom looking for wedding contract advice, and think it’s a smart idea to protect yourself and your money, visit his blog today.

Firing a Bridesmaid — Is It Ever Okay?

TeamWED — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 12:26:58 +0000

In short, no. Never. Ever. All right, firing a bridesmaid sometimes must be done, but think carefully before you tell one of your ‘maids to take a hike. Did she do something illegal or continues to do something illegal, like take drugs or prostitute herself? Is she in danger of hurting herself or hurting others? Maybe she’s just plain mean to you and your bridesmaids.

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Wedding Contract Advice from The Wedding Professor

Bridesmaids: Popping the Question

TeamWED — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 12:47:50 +0000

One of the first things any bride-to-be must do, right after joyfully calling mom to announce her engagement and then changing her relationship status on Facebook, is decide just who will stand beside her as she says her vows. As you might imagine, it’s not always the easiest decision in the world to make. Unless the wedding ceremony will be held in a cathedral that can accommodate a very large bridal party, the spots are limited. If the bride-to-be has a lot of close friends or a bunch of sisters, things can get even hairier. And you’d think that a groom who wants a huge number of groomsmen would make the bridesmaid selection easier, but what if the bride-to-be wants a symmetrical wedding party but just doesn’t have enough girlfriends?

So first things first — how should the bride-to-be choose her bridesmaids? There are no right or wrong choices, of course, though we at TeamWED would suggest not choosing bridesmaids on the basis of obligation alone. In other words, just because someone asked you to be a bridesmaid in her wedding does not mean that you have to invite her to be a bridesmaid in your wedding. Is it nice to return the favor? Sure, but it’s nonetheless not necessary. We also recommend that you not choose your bridesmaids simply because they are family or a part of your spouse-to-be’s family. While it would be sweet of you to include your future sister-in-law, only do so if you and she are actually on good terms. You can’t create or repair a meh relationship by including someone in the bridal party, and you might even make things worse!

Who should the bride-to-be choose to populate her party? Friends, beloved sisters, close relatives… heck, even her mom if she really wants to! And naturally, while we have been calling the bride’s attendants bridesmaids and implying that they’re ladies, there’s no reason why the bride-to-be can’t choose a man of honor and bridesmen instead of a maid of honor and bridesmaids.

After the bride-to-be has chosen her bridesmaids, the next thing she must do is ask those she has chosen to be a part of the bridal party. There are a few ways she can do this. There is, of course, the old standard method, which is asking directly via telephone or email. If the bride-to-be spends a lot of time with her chosen bridesmaids, they may already have an inkling that they’re on the wedding party roster. Presumably the bride-to-be knows her prospective bridesmaids well enough to know that they will say yes, but she should prepare herself for the fact that one might say no. Sometimes, logistics will prevent a potential bridesmaid from attending (and thus participating in) the wedding. A potential bridesmaids who is only just pregnant may not feel comfortable committing to be in the bridal party when her due date falls around the wedding date. And some people may simply not have the time or money to devote to being a bridesmaid. If you get a negative response, try not to be offended, since it’s likely that no offense was intended.

Other ways of asking your sisters and gal pals to be your bridesmaid include taking all potential ‘maids out to a special dinner where you ask them all at once and pre-printed Will You Be My Bridesmaids cards. They’re a bit silly, sure, but make for a great keepsake!

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Wedding Contract Advice from The Wedding Professor

Co-Ed Bridal Showers

TeamWED — Wed, 30 Dec 2009 12:29:53 +0000

Some engaged couples feel uncomfortable attending pre-wedding parties that are segregated by gender since it’s common nowadays for brides and grooms to have male and female friends. While having separate pre-wedding parties – a bridal shower for the ladies and a bachelor party for the gents – is still more common, there’s no rule that says the festivities have to be all-girl or all-boy. The co-ed bridal shower is one answer to this dilemma. But brides who’d rather have a co-ed bridal shower should spread the word among family and friends so that whoever decides to throw the bridal shower knows that male relatives and friends should be included on the guest list.

(Photo by Mary Witzig)

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Wedding Contract Advice from The Wedding Professor

Bridesmaids In Cowboy Boots

TeamWED — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 12:24:57 +0000

Not sure how you want your bridesmaids to cover their bunions at your wedding ceremony and reception? One less-than-ordinary option that’s been getting more popular is bridesmaids in cowboy boots! It’s not just for rustic weddings anymore… bridesmaids in cowboy boots can work at almost any style of semi-formal wedding, whether indoors or outdoors (though boots rock in the mud). Unlike brides who have their bridesmaids were a matching color of shoe, but different styles of shoe, brides who choose to outfit their bridesmaids in cowboy boots should consider having all her attendants buy the same color and/or style of boot.

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Wedding Contract Advice from The Wedding Professor

Bad Bridesmaids?

TeamWED — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 10:06:37 +0000

Here’s a recent letter TeamWED received from a bride who’s just about at the end of her rope.

Dear TeamWED: When I chose my bridesmaids, I thought I had it made. My sister is one crafty chick. My best friend is super organized. My other best friend loves to shop. And my cousin who I’ve known since we were little kids has a great eye for fashion. It should have been the ultimate wedding prep team, but it hasn’t turned out that way. My bridesmaids just aren’t that interested in helping me plan my wedding. They even seemed less than enthusiastic about helping me design and print invitations and assemble favors! Should I be mad? Can I be mad? Signed, Bad Bride or Bad Bridesmaids?

We can’t tell you whether or not you *should* be mad, BB. It’s pretty obvious that you had certain expectations of how bridesmaids ought to behave and those expectations are not being met. And your expectations are certainly not unreasonable. Look at any list of bridesmaids’ duties and you’ll see repeated mention of the fact that bridesmaids (and in particular the maid of honor) should offer to help the bride at every turn. That could mean helping the bride shop for wedding favors, her wedding gown, or the reception venue. It might also mean assisting her in hands-on tasks like making DIY bouquets or stuffing and addressing envelopes. And sometimes it even means helping plan the reception seating chart, a boring and potentially stressful task.

Bridesmaids, as you can see, get asked to do quite a lot by their brides… or at least those brides who read those lists of bridesmaids’ duties before choosing their bridal attendants. It sounds to us, BB, like you were that kind of bride, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Brides should feel free to assume that their maid of honor and bridesmaids will be their right-hand ladies as they plan their weddings. HOWEVER, brides must also remember that their bridesmaids are adult women with their own lives and responsibilities and that those bridesmaids should feel free not to participate in certain pre-wedding and wedding planning activities.

Bridesmaids come in many flavors, from the bridesmaids who will gladly make phone calls to find out if a certain florist is available on a certain date to the bridesmaids who can handle buying their dresses on time and little else. There are also plenty of bridesmaids who fall somewhere in between. BB, before you let yourself get angry at your bridesmaids, consider whether they may want to participate in your wedding planning but simply don’t have the time or resources (or the dexterity) to do so. Consider, too, that your bridesmaids may not understand how much help you want or need, and are consequently afraid of stepping on your toes by offering to do X, Y, and Z.

Have you voiced your expectations? Did your bridesmaids know how much you expected of them before saying yes to your invitation to be a part of your wedding? Are your bridesmaids both responsible and skilled at DIY? The answers to all of these questions are important. If you really feel like you’re getting the cold shoulder from your bridesmaids where wedding-related activities are concerned, then confront them… but do it gently and with tact, lest you inadvertently offend someone who wishes they could do more. If, on the other hand, you’re not sure you’ve been clear about what you expect or you suspect that one or more of your bridesmaids has personal conflicts preventing them from helping you out, address that instead.

Good luck!

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Wedding Contract Advice from The Wedding Professor

Bridesmaids Pay For…

TeamWED — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 05:25:57 +0000

We think that the best part about writing for TeamWed is answering reader mail! Brides and grooms and bridesmaids from just about everywhere write to us to have their wedding planning questions answered all the time nowadays, so you can imagine we have a bit of a blacklog of queries. We’re working on it, though, so expect to see regular features in which we get to the bottom of your questions. Here’s one that we get at least once a week:

I’m getting married next year, and my fiance and I have chosen to have a big wedding party. I mean BIG! It’ll be an uneven wedding party, too, with fourteen bridesmaids on my side and ten groomsmen on his. Don’t worry; our ceremony venue can handle it, thank God. My question is what are we supposed to pay for when it comes to our wedding attendants? Back when I got engaged, I dreamed about paying for my bridesmaids’ dresses, shoes, and jewelry, but it’s not looking like that will be possible. The same goes for the groomsmen and their tuxedos. Some of our bridesmaids and groomsmen are coming from out of town, and we wanted to put them up for at least one night (our reception venue is a hotel) but again, our budget is getting in the way. So what do we HAVE to pay for? — BeeSmart

Before we answer Bee’s question, can we just let out a collective whistle? Because that is a lot of wedding attendants! Not that there’s anything wrong with that, especially if the ceremony venue is big enough to hold them all without anyone having to stand on anyone else’s feet. Kudos to Bee and her groom for having the number of bridesmaids and groomsmen *they* want to have, even if it means having uneven sides and causing some people to do double-takes during the processional!

Now on to her query. The short answer is that the bridesmaids and groomsmen (and maid of honor and best man) traditionally shoulder all their own expenses, from the bridesmaids’ dresses to the best man’s tuxedo to the services of the stylist to the hotel where everyone will be staying. On top of that, the attendants are usually on the hook for the bridal shower and the bachelor party, and sometimes even for a bachelorette party or multiple showers. What can we say? It’s not easy being a wedding attendant, and woe unto those who have so many friends that they’re being asked to stand at the altar six or more times each year.

This means Bee doesn’t really HAVE to pay for any of her bridesmaids’ expenses if she doesn’t want to or can’t afford it. However, if she can afford to pay for a little something, like earring and necklace sets for her bridesmaids or the services of the hair stylist and makeup artist for the whole wedding party, she should definitely do that. As for the hotel accommodations, if Bee or Bee’s family can’t afford to put the out-of-town bridesmaids up for the night, perhaps they can at least work out a deal for a discounted block of rooms with the hotel… or even offer to put the out-of-town bridesmaids up for the night so they don’t have to worry about accommodations at all!

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Wedding Contract Advice from The Wedding Professor

Bridesmaids Dresses: Be Daring!

TeamWED — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 06:04:05 +0000

While a lineup of bridesmaids wearing identical bridesmaids dresses is a very common sight at weddings, some brides are throwing tradition to the wind and choosing different dresses for different bridesmaids or even letting the bridesmaids choose their own dresses. We’ve been bridesmaids in all kinds of weddings and have been asked to wear everything from hideous teal bubble dresses to stunning silk saris, but the weddings we like best are the ones are the ones where we were allowed to pick out the bridesmaids dresses that we liked and would feel most comfortable wearing. Though some brides fear that they’ll end up with a mishmash of bridesmaids in clashing colors and styles, we’ve found that the opposite happens! More often than not, the bridesmaids will get together and either choose a single bridesmaids dress they all love or coordinate their dresses to ensure that they all look beautiful in photographs on the big day. So brides, be different and let your bridesmaids decide for themselves. We guarantee they’ll love you for it!

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Visit USABRIDE.COM for an incredible selection of wedding jewelry, wedding accessories, bridal headbands, wedding veils, and now bridesmaids dresses at the best prices you’ll find on the Internet.